When yer regular, yer regular

Wow. Eating healthy has sure made me regular. (How's that for an opening sentence?) Yep, back to the blogging this week. See, I told you crazy crap happens to me ALL THE TIME! Take for example this morning's commute to work. Yep, was running a little late today. I was debating on which ensemble to wear to work today: my new dress that I ordered that came via my hot UPS man. (I think I ordered a dress online just so he could deliver it to my front door) or a cute skirt with my hot coral open toed shoes. (This is also what I get for being a HUGE Rachel Zoe fan- style fashionista for the stars). I wanted to wear my new dress SO BAD, but it's cut a little high up on the thigh for everyday wear to CDC, so I went with option #2. I have to admit, I had a good hair day going, jewelry to match and I was ready to take on the day!! So I packed my healthy lunch, snacks and my new Met Rx vanilla shake with fresh blueberries blended into it. (yum!). Oh man, I have got to get on the road! So I hop in the Beemer and away I go. Of course I have the radio tuned into hubby's radio station (106.7) and my favorite traffic guy Greg Talmage, was doing his traffic report. Shit balls. Hwy 78- big accident and there's a back up. Great. Why the hell is it always when you are running late that traffic always bends you over the table? So, thank goodness, I do have a backup road plan that can get me to work, but it's a little out of the way. So I head down my new course to work and I look at the clock. Crap. 6:45am. How am I going to make it by 7:00- but also, something else hits me- Uh oh. My "daily routine of #2" is usually right around 7:15- and I mean like clock work. And sure enough- about 7:05, while I am still on the road, I start to get my "hey lady, are you headin to the john anytime soon cramps". Holy crap mother balls! What am I going to do? Well, I am already late. So, now comes the hard part- where the hell am I going to pull off to drop a load? Well, I come over a hill and I have never been happy to see the Golden Arches. Whoo hoo! I start to do the poopie dance in my car seat. Woah Missy, don't jiggle too much or your are gonna ruin your cute outfit. So I fly into the parking lot and then you know when ya gotta go and you do that little fast shuffle for fear you may shit right there in the parking lot? Yep, that was me. I shuffle my way into the ladies room and take care of business. BUT THEN, you are faced with the walk of shame: (you know what I am talking about here...) do you sprint back to your car not making any eye contact with Mickie D's employees, or are you guilted into buying something? (You know, does anyone know what the correct etiquette is here?) Well, I didn't have time to ask anyone (plus I ran so fast from my car, I didn't even bring my purse in) so I ran back to my car, and jetted out of that parking lot. My goodness, I didn't even flinch to buy a McGriddle or a coffee. I didn't even notice any of the yummy McDonalds smells. (I am a HUGE fan of their fries...but when will I ever see my slender fried potato friends again?). I made it to work 20 minutes late, but with an empty intestine. I dodged another bullet and my day could finally begin. :)

I am sure you will get more from me this weekend- my mom and nephew are flying in from Kansas, so I am POSITIVE there will be stories to blog about. Plus, my stepson and wife with our 2 grand kiddos are coming up from Columbus, GA. tomorrow to swim and hang out with us as well. Looking forward to good times, but also good blogging material. :) Ciao!