Well, I guess I am going to stay in Spanish mode. You know what I hate just about as much as clowns? Mariachi bands! So, you know I am down in the dumps because our favorite Mexican restaurant closed its doors last week- well, one door closes and another opens. Yes, a new Mexican restaurant, Fonterra, opened this weekend. It was so crazy busy this weekend, that we decided to try it out tonight. It was very delish and I think we will be just fine with Correlejo closing. We got to know our waiter, Randolo very well too. But...something to consider:
#1 Don't go on Wednesday if you don't like Mariachi bands. Damn. I wanted to go hide in a corner. You know you see them scouring the restaurant looking for suckers that will either tip them, or they have kids and they know they will tip em, just to shut their kids up. Well, sure as shit, we were stuck between two family tables, so we had the "pleasure" of listening to them up close and personal. So, then you start digging in your wallet for dollar bills and it's like they smell them. Or...they play some chord in the song that is code for "ALERT! Tan blonde pulling out dollar bills- QUICK!". Crap. So yes, the song ended and I stuff the dollar bills in the body of the guitar that has the sign "Tips" on his guitar. Classy. Now please, go away. NOPE. He turns to me and says, "Senorita, what do you want to hear?". Well, what I want to say is, "I want to hear your little footsteps moving the hell way from my booth", but I am now embarrassed because the whole damn restaurant is looking at me like "wonder what song she is going to request"? Hell, it's not like I have a Mariachi Band Song List in my purse. So the fiddler man must have saw me floundering- he yells- "HOW BOUT SOMETHING ROMANTIC?". God OK. Sure. Just start playing and move your sweaty asses down to the next seating area. So they start playing- it's a nice song- and then the lead singer says, "SMOOCH YOUR SWEETIE". WTF? Look, it's enough that you all have our booth surrounded- but now you want me to lean over my fajitas and kiss Fred? I admit, I am OK with PDA- but Fred is turning as red as my red peppers. So we air kiss. Whew! Dodged that bullet. NOPE. Then that smart ass, little singer man yells "ALL THE WAY!" WHAT? Come on! So I as I stretch over the table, my legs are stuck to the plastic booth seat so it makes a fart sound as I get up (great)- and all the little kids start laughing and I heard one say, "SHE TOOTED". Great. Now we are THE center of attention with a kiss and a fake plastic fart, provided by my sweaty legs. LORD GET ME OUT OF HERE. Ultimate embarrassment. THEN, THEN, they wouldn't leave. THEY WANTED MORE MONEY!! Oh HELL NO! They got a round of applause and we paid our check and got the heck out there. Note to self- we won't go to Fonterra on Wednesday any more.
#2 Don't go to Fonterra when on a cleanse. I so wanted to slam a beer after that episode. Nope. I stood firm. No booze for seven more days. Plus, their sopapillas looked DELISH.
That's all for this evening- believe me- more than enough excitement for a Wednesday night. Fahrenbruch- out. :)
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Oh, my goodness!!! That was a laugh out loud post. My 2 doggies are looking at me like I'm crazy since it's just me and them in the room. I want to hide under the table when I see a mariachi band coming toward me, so I'm with you on that!
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