Being on a cleanse doesn't fare well for fine cuisine and adult beverages- especially on a Friday night. Fred and I have always made sure that Friday night is date night for us. Well, tonight we did it, but man it was sure quite the extreme. I always know when we are going swanky or going for bar food. Both of us dressed in shorts and ball caps is what I call a casual date night. We ended up at After The Game for healthy food options and non alcoholic beverages. (Boring). So, I thought I would spice up the night. "Let's go to the grocery store!!". That to Fred means, he would rather pull his toenails off one by one than go to the grocery store with me. I LOVE to go grocery store shopping! With coupons and my recycle grocery bags in hand I am ready to conquer the redneck Kroger. First off, Fred says, "10 minutes, tops- that's all you get." Are you kidding me? But, this is a double-edged sword going to the store with Fred. He always rushes me and every time I forget something. But to accommodate the impatient shopper, I rocked it around the store and got everything on my list. So we pull up to the checkout area and they are all slammed. On a FRIDAY? Seriously? Wow. Other people also think the grocery store is a great place for date night. :) So we go to the far end, where I see a cart with groceries in it, but no one is around the cart. So I walk up to it and a man comes my way. "Is this your cart sir?". Nope. Ok. So, hey, in my world, a cart with no body does not count for a place holder in line at checkout. So I start to push it out of the way and I'm waving Fred to come my way. (He has stayed back with the cart, because he knows something is about to go down.) So, I have pushed the cart out of the way and I hear Fred "here she comes." OK. NOW I AM GETTING PISSED. Where in the rules of grocery shopping 101 can you leave a cart in line unattended and block those behind you from checking out? Well, she shows up with a box of caprisun. Really? That's what you forgot? Well move your ass and your cart because I am checking out. She gives me the stink eye. Again, really? You want to throw down right here? I can tell Fred is getting anxious so he says in his Fredly voice that I can only hear (it's like a dog call)- "ease down greyhound and let her go." I saw the fright come in to her eyes. I was staring down that crusty old bat. I could have taken her and her Farrah Fawcett feathered hair. Poor thing. Ok, go ahead and plop your big ass Reuinte bottle of chardonnay (lucky bitch- at least she can drink) and your case of cigarettes along with your CAPRISUN that you forgot. I think she felt me staring her down because I was. So her groceries starting flying on to the conveyor belt. That's right skank-a-saurus keep moving and get the hell out of my checkout lane. Poor Fred. He's just looking at me. Hey, I can't help it...I'm competitive at everything.
We finally get to checkout and we have the bags in the trunk. Since it's still technically date night, I throw one more curve at Fred. "Now let's go to Bed, Bath and Beyond!". Ooooh...I got the eye roll and the "are you f-in kidding me?" Nope, Mr. Fred, now get your cute little ass in the car and let's go to BB & B. Let's just say I went in to the store by myself while someone listened to the radio. :) Not the way I wanted date night to end, but the night is still young. I guess I will let him watch the hockey playoffs on TV. I'm such a good wife. :)
Hope you all have a great date night and weekend!! :) It's Harley riding time tomorrow!!
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