Day 5- Garage Sale Tales

Happy Friday! Today I spent my day off hangin with my Bestie Cindi doin the Neighborhood Garage Sale. You know how you feel at the beginning of the morning of your garage sale: You are so stoked to sell, sell, sell, you are jacked up on caffeine (this year w/ the cleanse, the flavor of choice was chamomile tea) but by 1:00pm you are like, "will someone just come by and pick up all this crap for $5.00?". That was me today. The crazy thing is...I'm gonna get up and do it again tomorrow. I get this wild hair up my ass about every two years that I am the master wheeler-dealer and feel it's my mission to go out and have the gigantic garage sale. Well, here I was again today and what did I make: A whoppin $52.50. SERIOUSLY? I spent all morning negotiating a candle for fifty cents that a gal wanted for a quarter and a pair of swimming flippers with a bad strap? Lord. But, I LOVE IT! It's the thrill of the moment. Gettin in there and selling. It's a total rush for me. Plus you get to meet some dandy, hard core garage sale "professionals".

For instance:
-Right out of the shoot, you always have the guy that is stalking you setting up your merchandise. If I said 8:00am, then why the hell are you here at 7:30? Are you afraid you are going to miss the sale of century? Here's a thought: come on out of your dusty ass minivan and grab a box and help us set up.
-The deer hunter. This dude was scary, but funny as hell. For one, he almost put his pickup in Cindi's flowerbed. Guess he was excited at all the good deals he saw in the driveway. He was just a nice ol man, and talked for days. Found out he cleans gutters in the hood and also deer hunts. WHAT? Backup son- you deer hunt in a subdivision? This had me so intrigued, so I had to ask more questions. (going to try and type in Southern Slang) "You bow hunt or with a rifle?". "Bow- I go right over ya onder (pointing just over my house) and I get me a couple deer just a couple months ago." "I have pockets of land right up to this subdivision and all the way out to Monroe". Ok. So we have an elementary school right behind out subdivision.... and I have a greyhound that looks like a deer- great. I have Davy Frickin Crockett setting up a tree stand across the street from me if I'm not careful. I'm still listening... "If you were to go on over there and put yerself a target 80 yards away, I'd hit it" "Now...since I had me two car accidents, and I pulled the steering wheel plum out of the car, my shoulder is a bit messed up, but I can still hit a target- especially if it's a deer." Wow. No wonder he almost drove into the flower bed.
-Then you have the gals that you are putting stuff in the garage to close for the day, they pull up in the driveway and yell out the window, "You still open for business?". Um no, dumbshit. I'm hiding all the good deals from you. I saw you pulling up so I decided to shut the garage door. Go away. But I bet you money, they will be back tomorrow.

So, yes, I will be at it again tomorrow morning, bright-eyed and bushy tailed. Tomorrow I go deep discount and smile as I probably will make 7.00 total. But hey, my "treasures" are not going back in the house and they will become someones treasure, right? Saturdays bring out the crazies. I cannot wait. Bring it.