Day 9- I love me a Groupon, but REALLY????

Now, I'm all about gettin the deal. I am signed up for every Groupon, Living Social, Half Off Depot you can imagine. I cut coupons for my groceries. I get my gas 30 cents off with my prescriptions (I do take a few drugs with the ol sjogrens, IRB...you name it- I take a drug for it. LOL) If we go out for dinner, I have a restaurant.com certificate. Any way I can save a few bucks, that's me looking for the deal of the century. But not today. I am working from home today, so I got up a few minutes early to check my gmail to see what deals were waiting for me in my inbox today. Eeewwwww. I had to read one deal twice. Let me share:

-Colon Hydrotherapy Session. WTF? Really? Now, I will admit, it was a clever ad:" A shiny new car looks great on the outside, but appearances mean nothing if the oil hasn't been changed for miles and miles. The same goes for your body -- so keep your motor running smoothly with today's deal from Hadiya Wellness. Pay $29 for one colon hydrotherapy session, and you'll drive away waste that can cause discomfort with double-filtered water (a $65 value). Enjoy more cleansing when you get three sessions for $59 (regularly $165), six for $99 (regularly $300), or 12 for $189 (regularly $720). Certified colon hydrotherapist will help facilitate a noninvasive procedure that features no side effects, as it works with your body's natural processes to allow for better functioning and more nutrient absorption. Park yourself in this private East Atlanta office for a relaxing treatment, and you'll head home with a much healthier engine -- er, body." WOW. Nothing like comparing yourself to getting an oil change. Have you seen those dudes at Jiffy Lube? But still WTF? I paid 1,000 bucks for a colonoscopy two weeks ago (thank you insurance), but why in the hell would you WANT to INTENTIONALLY want to shit your brains out and pay for it? AND have the opportunity to do it 12 TIMES and pay for it out of pocket! You know what's crazy? Last time I looked at the deal online, 142 wackos have bought this! SERIOUSLY? Well hurry fast if you want some lady to stick a tube up yer ass (no anesthesia by the way) so you can "detoxify". No thanks. I will stick to my 4/day cleanse shakes. Lord.

But wait....the fun didn't stop here with the Atlanta deals for Tuesday. Here's the Groupon for today:
-66% off toenail fungus removal. WHAT? Here's the pitch: "Yellow, brittle nails, like yellow, brittle stars, don't belong on Earth. Keep toes grounded with this Groupon." Ick. Sick. Puke. GROSS! Now here's the funny- you can either by the groupon for one foot or two. I tried to pull up the deal online, but it says my browser can't open it. Good. I think my Internet browser is grossed out too. You know, I do have a former neighbor in Topeka that could use this groupon. (God love him). Now I do joke with Fred about his toenails. He thinks it's funny to cut his nails at an angle and then rub them up against my leg in bed. You want to talk about something that drives me up the frickin wall. Sometimes I just want to kick his cute little ass- but I guess that's what keeps the marriage fresh is talking about toes- and non-fungal nails. (smile)

Now those of you that bought any of those deals today, more power to ya. If you did buy one, would you please let me know. I would love to hear how your ass spritzer and your toe spraying went.

It seems that living off of just shakes a day has brought my sassiness back to the blog. Awesome!!! I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings. Holla!! :)