Wow....here I was trying to scrap together blog material for this week and BLAMMO! it hits ya right smack dab in your face- and in a 40 minute span. Let's get to it:
11:30am: I need a break. I have been working since 6:00am, my greyhound sweet Reba is at the vet for a toe removal (cancer) and I'm a stress box. Time to get out of my home office and grab some lunch.
My first stop is I have been in search for some Ancho Chile Paste. Of course my husband and I watched this amazing crock pot recipe on the cooking channel for pork butt wrapped in banana leaves and all these fun Mexican spices, so hell yeah I have to make it! Who knew that finding all the ingredients was the hard part. Fred found the banana leaves at the International Food Market (love ATL!), but no Ancho Chile Paste. Well, I had an idea. I trekked down Grayson Parkway to a strip of Mexican restaurants, shops and grocery stores. Surely I will find some in one of these strip mall stores. OMG- what an experience! So I walk into this grocery store and it's not your typical grocery store. It's a make-shift restaurant/grocery store/slot machines! Wait! I know those slot machines have to illegal along with the "illegals" that are playing them. What the hell have I walked into? Here is this white female cracker with her new KD Lang haircut, just trying to find some damn ancho paste. Well, no one speaks English and I can't even understand the broken Spanish that the lady behind the cash register was speaking- I even think she was Indian. Where the hell was I? Well, I found my paste!! I notice there isn't a sticker price on it. This should be good...." $4.00", the Spanish/Indian/I don't know what Nationality she is says. WTH? I know I am getting screwed. First she isn't charging me tax. So slim shady. Hey, I got my paste. I gave her the $4.00 for probably a 99 cent pack of paste and got the hell out there.
11:40am: Kroger grocery store. I need to pick up some lime juice, an onion and corn tortillas for my crock pot masterpiece. Well, you know the main reason for going to the grocery store: DISCOUNTED VALENTINES DAY CANDY! Come on! I'm not fooling anyone!! Of course I picked up 2 bags of Dove dark chocolate hearts for $1.74/bag. Score-a-rama! I also got all my other "necessities" for my crock pot extravaganza tomorrow. But wait- hold on. As I roll out with my mini buggy- who is there at the door. GIRL SCOUTS!!! Shit. How can I say no to these cuties?? I had already bought the mother load from my #1 niece Campbell in Kansas, but for some reason, our boxes have been depleted. (smile). Well, you can't walk by the girl scouts. They looked so cute! Trying to bypass them is like walking through a a fire ring. So of course, I stop and my heart just melts. "Ma'am, do you want to buy some cookies???" OMG. First, they called me Ma'am. Then I look at the two of them. Looking them in the eye is like you are being put into a cookie spell. They were so tiny- all wrapped in their jackets and scarves- and toothless. One had a snotty nose, and the other one had glasses that were just too cute with her big brown eyes showing through. I'm so screwed. So I say, "Ok, girlie's, I want one box of Samoas and one box of Do-si-do's". What happened next was priceless. They start screaming and cheering and jumping up and down- so what do I do? I start jumping up and down and screaming and yelling with them. It was classic. I had all the girl scout moms on the floor. And you know what, it made me just smile from ear to ear. They made my day and I think I made theirs. So I paid for my sinfully yummy cookies and headed it down to my next errand, the ATM.
11:50- ATM- Lord. I was three cars deep. But, the great thing is that my ATM is in this strip mall where "Satin and Lace" is. Those of you from the hood know what this store is-- for you others, you can let you mind race- they sell EVERYTHING- if you know what I mean- wink, wink, nudge, nudge. It's your "50 Shades" superstore. Now keep in mind it's 11:50 in the morning. And what do you know...while waiting in the ATM line, a couple came out with a big black bag. Well, alllrriiighgght! Now, I wish I could adequately describe this couple, but it's like watching a scary movie- you want to look away, but you can't. She was probably a foot taller and wider than the man she was walking with hand in hand. As soon as they left the shop, he immediately lit up. Wow. You go boy, he must be gearing up for a fun evening- hell maybe even an afternoon ahead of him. And I SWEAR he was wearing a Members Only jacket and had the 80's mustache to go with it. Awesome and classy. LOL
11:50-12:00 noon. Holy shit. I am going to come unglued! This Toyota highlander that has been at the ATM for well over 5 minutes is driving me crazy! What was she doing? Writing checks and depositing them at the ATM? My lord.... I don't have the patience. ATM's are for quick services. Not to do your nails and makeup. Thank the lord I had a car between us, otherwise I was ready to ram her ass up into the Satin and Lace showroom. Whoo lawd! I was beginning to wonder if she died. Now that would be my luck. I get all my errands run in a 30 minute time span to be caught up by some lady who dies in the ATM lane. Whew! Thank the lord she finally moved- just enough to probably count all her bills- and the poor car in the middle of us can't pull up and do his transaction because the jack wagon in the Toyota didn't pull up enough. That's it. HONK! HONK! HONK! (that's my car by the way). Couldn't take it any longer. Well I scared her that she threw it in drive and almost damn near did go through Satin and Lace. Thank the lord she didn't - then I would have been an accomplice and sure wouldn't have made it back in time to start work back up.
Let me tell you...that 30 minutes definitely took my mind of Reba and any work stresses. Word to the wise- take those lunch breaks- you never know what can happen. :-) TGIF!!!
Friday, February 15, 2013
Friday, February 8, 2013
Um, you're sick, Coughey McGee!
I used to be guilty of this. I would go in to work with a nasty cough, snotty ass nose and who knows what else. I guess working for the CDC for six years now, I have become a germ-a-phobe and have learned not to take your sickness to work and infect others. I have to be. With sjogrens, my auto immue system just doesn't fight off the nasty bugs like I used to.
FOR INSTANCE, today! Well, first off, my body has been in total shock today. Friday is usually a work-from-home day. I get out of bed with crazy hair and jammies, make a cup of Joe, and get ready to rock and roll from the home office. Today was not that day. We had one of our super partners in town conducting a learning academy for college professors that teach health education. Well, you know I love me some training, so I hopped in the shower, put on my cute clothes with some CUTENESS red heels and headed off to the Airport Westin. It was great catching up with my training buds before the event started, found a primo spot at a table front and center in the meeting room, got my journal and uniball out ready to take notes, cell phone on vibrate and BAM! Let's get to the first presenter.
Well, folks start coming in with their college teams in drones and before you know it, the room is packed. I have a chair next to me open (awesome) just in case my work bag needs a place to rest. (smile)- I look at my table; all the ladies look nornmal- one smiled at me and said hello- I said "hey" back. Introductions are taking place and our grantee takes a minute to introduce me (since I'm from CDC) and I stand up, make sure my dress isn't up my butt crack, and smile and wave to the group. As I am sitting back down, a latecomer comes in the back of the meeting room door and is heading right for my empty seat and she is HACKING LIKE A MOFO! OMG! Nooooooooo! Great. I not only am front-and-center as this table, but now I'm at The Walking Dead Hackville Table. Not only is Coughey McGee hacking up a lung, but so are her other teammates. Hooooleeee balls. Really? So I squint to see where they are from. New York. Really? So you are avoiding the major blizzard of the year here in the ATL but you brought all your nasty ass germs with you? Thank you soooo much! So while they continue to cough, I have to shoot a stare at all three of them with the following eye-contact message: If you pieces of dog crap get me sick, I am going to drive back in to the city tomorrow and kick each one of your assess all across this Westin!! Well, I must have scared one of them because she dug in her purse and gave everyone coughing a cough drop. Really? You think that is going to save the world? A halls cough drop? Well, Coughey McGee can't even get it down. She opens her mouth and this cough that comes deep from her bowels and sounds like 5 pounds of flem is connected to it comes out of her mouth. OMG. I look straight at her and she's sweating like a whore in church. Hell, she probably has a fever too! I'm telling you....if I get sick, there will be hell to pay! I can hear the three of them whispering to "Coughey" to "you should probably go upstairs and rest". Really? Hey, I have a follow-up question: Why did you even come? Well now I am so paranoid that I'm going to get the clap, that I hear what seems to be every fricking person in that room coughing. OMG. I'm not going to come out of this room alive. Well, I had had enough. I leaned over to "Coughey" (within speaking distance- I didn't want to get too close), and like I had a special CDC germ badge told her, "You know, if you are sick, you probably don't want to spread your contageous germs to everyone else in this room. Sorry, but I really don't want to be sick myself." BAM. That's all it took. Coughey left the meeting. Be gone sinus-infection, flem coughing, sweaty infected person! I'm sorry, but come on!!! Obviously she was way sick. And, for that, I get another star on my "Bitch of the Year" badge. Oh well, at least I looked good. Everyone in that training will thank me at a later time for this intervention. Now, off to go do my netti pot and chug some nyquil.
FOR INSTANCE, today! Well, first off, my body has been in total shock today. Friday is usually a work-from-home day. I get out of bed with crazy hair and jammies, make a cup of Joe, and get ready to rock and roll from the home office. Today was not that day. We had one of our super partners in town conducting a learning academy for college professors that teach health education. Well, you know I love me some training, so I hopped in the shower, put on my cute clothes with some CUTENESS red heels and headed off to the Airport Westin. It was great catching up with my training buds before the event started, found a primo spot at a table front and center in the meeting room, got my journal and uniball out ready to take notes, cell phone on vibrate and BAM! Let's get to the first presenter.
Well, folks start coming in with their college teams in drones and before you know it, the room is packed. I have a chair next to me open (awesome) just in case my work bag needs a place to rest. (smile)- I look at my table; all the ladies look nornmal- one smiled at me and said hello- I said "hey" back. Introductions are taking place and our grantee takes a minute to introduce me (since I'm from CDC) and I stand up, make sure my dress isn't up my butt crack, and smile and wave to the group. As I am sitting back down, a latecomer comes in the back of the meeting room door and is heading right for my empty seat and she is HACKING LIKE A MOFO! OMG! Nooooooooo! Great. I not only am front-and-center as this table, but now I'm at The Walking Dead Hackville Table. Not only is Coughey McGee hacking up a lung, but so are her other teammates. Hooooleeee balls. Really? So I squint to see where they are from. New York. Really? So you are avoiding the major blizzard of the year here in the ATL but you brought all your nasty ass germs with you? Thank you soooo much! So while they continue to cough, I have to shoot a stare at all three of them with the following eye-contact message: If you pieces of dog crap get me sick, I am going to drive back in to the city tomorrow and kick each one of your assess all across this Westin!! Well, I must have scared one of them because she dug in her purse and gave everyone coughing a cough drop. Really? You think that is going to save the world? A halls cough drop? Well, Coughey McGee can't even get it down. She opens her mouth and this cough that comes deep from her bowels and sounds like 5 pounds of flem is connected to it comes out of her mouth. OMG. I look straight at her and she's sweating like a whore in church. Hell, she probably has a fever too! I'm telling you....if I get sick, there will be hell to pay! I can hear the three of them whispering to "Coughey" to "you should probably go upstairs and rest". Really? Hey, I have a follow-up question: Why did you even come? Well now I am so paranoid that I'm going to get the clap, that I hear what seems to be every fricking person in that room coughing. OMG. I'm not going to come out of this room alive. Well, I had had enough. I leaned over to "Coughey" (within speaking distance- I didn't want to get too close), and like I had a special CDC germ badge told her, "You know, if you are sick, you probably don't want to spread your contageous germs to everyone else in this room. Sorry, but I really don't want to be sick myself." BAM. That's all it took. Coughey left the meeting. Be gone sinus-infection, flem coughing, sweaty infected person! I'm sorry, but come on!!! Obviously she was way sick. And, for that, I get another star on my "Bitch of the Year" badge. Oh well, at least I looked good. Everyone in that training will thank me at a later time for this intervention. Now, off to go do my netti pot and chug some nyquil.
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