Yep.  That's how I felt tonight.  Just when I think I am getting the hang of Zumba and getting those sexy moves down, I try the Zumba toning class.  Holy balls! I am still sweating my tits off typing this blog post.

So, and hour and a half ago...I gear up, bring my 5lbs weights with me (remember this) and head to class.  A lot of familiar faces go to the Tuesday night class, so I was glad to see my homies.  But...what I also see are gals wearing their belly dancing hip scarf!  FINALLY!  I have had one just sitting in my bag, waiting for folks to wear this.  I was too cool to whip it out and wear it on a Thursday night and be the only one, but HEY!  I get to jingle, jingle in my hip scarf!!!

So I tie my hip scarf and damn!  I made it in a knot!  How in the hell am I going to get this off?  Oh well, I can worry about that when class is over.  Lenae jumps up on stage and away we go.  So far, so good.  She did a lot of the routines that we do on Thursday night.  But then, came the weight routines.  So, I go over to my weights, and Lenae on the microphone, says "Melissa, those are too heavy!"  "Go grab the 2 lb weights in the closet!"  Great...I am getting called out.  Doesn't she know that I've been pumping iron and this will be no problem?  Well, she won't start the routine until I go over and get the darn 2 lb weights.  Ok, ok.  Well, I am sure as hell glad I did.  We started out slow and I'm thinking to my self this is easy.  No problem.  Well, was I wrong!  By the second routine, my arms were burning PLUS you have to move to the beat, keep rhythm AND lift the weights.  I looked like a drunk crazy trying to keep beat.  I went from feeling like J-Lo to dancing like Elaine on Seinfield.  I must have looked pathetic!! I even made a Marc Anthony song look bad- (and thats' bad!) :)  But, I still got a good workout in.   Also, note to self #1:  don't eat stir fry before class.  I had to fart so bad, but I was afraid that I was working out so hard that I might do more than fart.  Great.  So, I am trying to keep beat and keep a dingleberry squeezed between my cheeks.  Note to self #2: Wear shorts that fit.  I forgot that I was in my "work from home" shorts and didn't change into my Zumba shorts.  These are a little loose fitting with the weight I have lost- and literally, I almost lost my shorts.  Thank goodness for my hip scarf!  It was the only thing keeping me from mooning the rest of the gals behind me.  So, between, shitting my pants and losing my pants, that hour class was the longest class ever!!!  But I made it!!  All the regulars congratulated me on making it through the class and they want to see me back next Tuesday.  We will see.  

I walk over to my bag and I am trying to take my jingle hip scarf off. DAMMIT!  It's in a knot and that bitch is tighter than it was when I started class.  Oh well.  I ran out of the gym, of course not in stealth mode, b/c the damn scarf was jingling, hopped in my car with the hip scarf still on and got the hell home.  Lord.  I'm a mess.

Day 26 and Beyond - New Rules

I am sorry I haven't posted in a week.  But you know, it's been a pretty boring week.  Now today, it was kinda cool.  I had HHS Secretary Sebelius's Press Secretary call me at home today and I provided  him speaking bullets for an upcoming speech she has next week- so I guess that was pretty cool.  Also yesterday, crazy old sign spinning man was OUT!  I took two pictures and I'll be damned but neither turned out. This is really pissing me off.  Maybe he is a ghost.  No...that crazy ass ol man blew me a kiss.  I almost threw up in my mouth.  I promise a picture posted to my blog in the near future- even if I have to stalk him.   

But really, there is nothing new to report.  The cleanse is coming to an end on Sunday.  I'm down 7.5 lbs and feel great! My clothes fit SO much better and I can put on a swimsuit without crying.  But, I am not going to stop blogging!! No siree, bob!  I'm going to keep it going. 

But...there will be new rules:

-I will only blog if I have something to say or if it's really funny.  I want to make the reading worth your while. :)

-It may not be every day.  But then, again, if I hit a streak of funniness, then watch out!

But with the continued blogging comes the continued commitment to being healthy:

- Calories in vs. calories out.  That's it.  That's the solution to living healthy.  It takes dedication, but I am ready for the challenge.  A Professor at Yale spoke at one of our CDC conferences a while back and this was his charge to the group.  It has always stuck with me, but I have never fully embraced it- but I am now.   It's a combo of eating healthy and working out.  I've got a good regimen going and I'm going to keep my mojo running.  Now, if I get down to a size 6 (ha!)- watch out!  This bitch will be posting pictures left and right- Facebook, Twitter, Foursquare, Instagram- hell I might buy a billboard.  :)  Maybe even do a boudoir photo shoot; um PROBABLY NOT.  Ick. Gross.

-I would really like to run a 5K.  This is one of my new year's goals.  But my ass hasn't gotten around to it.  I am running again and I would like to find a race this Fall.  I really haven't found that my endorphins like running for that long of a time.  They are more on a 30 min. cardio and alternate with strength training regimen.  Anyone want to run one with me?

-(I can't believe I'm typing this...)- I may cut down on my alcohol consumption.  Carole!  Carole!  Get up off the floor- someone in Fredonia call 911 for my mother.  Now, don't get me wrong, this party girl is still going to have her cocktails, maybe not as much.  But, I must ask for a  "free pass" the first week of June, as we are going to NOLA to celebrate Fredly's "milestone" birthday.  That my friends, will be a crazy ass party.  And, you have your occasional backyard pool parties.  I think I may switch to spritzers to reduce caloric intake.  WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING?  See, I am changing- the new me.  (please say a prayer)

I am sure I will come up with other rules, but I will save those for future blog posts.   It has been quite a ride and it will continue, I promise.  Stay tuned.... and keep reading!!  Hugs and love to you all!!  Thank you for the support of the blog. I'm glad you are enjoying the stories of my life.  I know I am!!! :)